Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style

Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style

Parenting style of tigers and elephants. The parenting style for each child should not be uniform, because the child is born with different characteristics.

But in general, Dr. Shimi Kang, a trained psychiatrist from Harvard University, USA, and author of the bestselling book on parenting style, The Dolphin Way, describes based on parenting style, parents from various backgrounds and social positions in the world can be divided into 3, namely:

  1. Tiger parents
  2. Jellyfish parents
  3. The parents of dolphins

Now we talk about tiger parents.

Tiger parents or tiger parents refer to the authoritarian type of parent. Tiger parents have full control over the child’s life.

Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style
Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style

They direct, protect, and even educate children harshly and excessively in the hope that children will be formed according to their desires.

Tiger parents demand discipline and academic achievement. They compete to send their children to favorite schools, enroll children in a variety of skills lessons, and apply strict rules at home. The children of tiger parents are not free to decide what they like and must meet the wishes of the parents on the grounds “for the good of the child”.

There are three elements of tiger parenting that can harm a child.

  • The schedule is too busy. This can lead to fatigue and lack of sleep in children.
  • Too protective, which makes the child vulnerable.
  • Too controlling so that the children are not confident, cannot solve problems, and can not adapt, “explained Kang.

The children of tiger parents grow up with too much control from the outside (themselves) and are too dependent on the outside environment. Although these children sometimes seem to be more successful (academically) especially at a young age, they are not able to adapt to the ups and downs of life.

Parenting styles in each family are of course different depending on the habits and values ​​in the family. Some parents prioritize the closeness between children and parents, some prioritize the discipline and freedom of children, some applications that they should constantly cultivate children’s respect for their parents, etc.

The difference between Tiger Parenting and Elephant Parenting?

1. Tiger Parenting.

Although given the name Tiger Parenting, it does not mean in its treatment it will be as troublesome as a tiger when with a tiger cub in daily life.

The term tiger care is taken from “tiger mother” by Amy Chua, the best-selling author of “tiger mother fighting song” and also a law professor from Yale University, USA.

In the book, it is explained that Amy Chua calls herself the “Mother of the Tiger” because in the eastern culture the tiger is a symbol of courage and strength.

Tiger parenting implements strict and difficult rules for children and teaches children to be trained to work harder and be more disciplined from an early age so that as adults they become accustomed to a hard world full of challenges and competition.

Often parenting applied to tiger parenting is more focused on education, so it is found that many children produced from this parenting have a very busy learning schedule inside and outside the school.

They are asked to learn all kinds of things, such as continuing to learn about various skills and arts without letting academic subjects be put aside and to get perfect scores from both of them.

Parents who practice tiger care acknowledge that they understand and know that their child will feel depressed, burdened with all the supplies provided. They think there is nothing wrong with this effect because the feeling of stress experienced by the child will make the child stronger, resilient, less courageous, and not cry when he grows up.

At first glance, tiger parenting is almost the same as authoritarian parenting. However, according to a study published by the Asian American Journal of Psychology in 2013, which contained the results of research using a sample of several families in Hmong (a tribe in Southeast Asia), China, Korea, that tiger care is a parenting style that mixes parenting. assertive (firm) and parental support.

Therefore, parents who practice tiger parenting are not only authoritarian by simply sending their children to continue learning, are forced to learn various types of skills, are asked to acquire only good values, but also parents participate and engage in these things, not even hesitant to participate in learning these skills with their children.

2. Elephants Parenting

Unlike tiger parenting, which has nothing to do with tigers, this parenting elephant is like a mother elephant where parents are always there and always help their child and tend to spoil.

Elephants Parenting
Elephants Parenting

San Francisco-based author Priyanka Sharma-Shndar writes an article in America magazine The Atlantic about how elephants care for their young with human life.

Because it turns out that in her care, the mother elephant will train her cubs to walk, help when they fall in the mud, pick up their cubs if they get lost and lost, bathe their cubs, hold them by their tails, even mother elephants are willing to sacrifice save her children from attack. predators.

Elephant parenting is parenting where we take care of our children like a mother elephant which allows children to enjoy their childhood like a toddler full of other happiness. In this parenting style, parents do not demand anything from the children, including the claim to be premature.

Not only that, parents will always be by the child’s side at all times and always help the child as long as the child needs help. The existence of elephant parenting makes children emotionally closer to their parents and reduces the possibility of conflict between parents and children.

But according to some people, elephant parenting is a parenting style that makes children more spoiled because parents are always around the child, making the child independent and always dependent on the parents.

So, what do you think, father and mother, more agree with tiger care or elephant parenting?

Also, all parenting styles must have positive and negative things, there are pros and cons. So make sure you understand more about the parenting style that will be applied in parenting. Enrich yourself with a variety of readings from references, to be more confident in determining the right parenting style for children.

But according to some people, elephant parenting is a parenting style that makes children more spoiled because parents are always around the child, making the child independent and always dependent on the parents.