Differences Father And Mother Parenting Styles In Educating Children
Parents with different parenting styles. Parenting is a shared responsibility of mother and father. Now, in raising this child, there is a different parenting style, between father and mother.
How fathers play a role in educating their children. There seems to be a significant difference between the two.
In the 70s, there was a difference in how dad was raised. Their roles must fulfill each other, both must play a role. The difference is, mothers tend to take care of how to feed their children, change clothes.
Meanwhile, what my dad did was more cheerful, like playing on the field, laughing, or maybe something riskier. And it turns out it also has a different effect between being cared for by mom and dad.
Mothers are also more likely to use feelings and show empathy for their children than fathers.
Mothers can be more empathetic, more subtle, but sometimes barriers in the household do not find their respective tasks. But when mom and dad can communicate and share tasks, then they can help each other.
If it seems that the role is needed more to the mother, further Anna, some studies say that the mother is very necessary, especially when the child is sad and scared. At that time it was often the much-needed thing from the mother, not the father.
A mother, as reported by The spruce, told of her neighbor who was worried about her husband’s attitude toward caring for their children. According to the wife, the husband tends to be more demanding, physically demanding, and often too strict with the children.
“I know it all sounds like something masculine, but I don’t see the difference in how the guy’s style is softer than the boys,” the mother said, mimicking her neighbor’s words.
But actually, my dad is not always difficult, Bun. Some mothers are more demanding, while the father figure looks more nurturing. But regardless of the parenting style of Father and Mother, the most important key is to balance the parenting style and integrate it.
Mothers generally have a greater role in child care. There is a greater emotional connection between mother and child than father.
Also, mothers tend to speak more orally to their children. This is because women are generally more verbal than men. Mothers use assertions more often, tend to state more clearly, and talk about issues involving discipline.
Mothers generally also put the needs of their children first. Mothers also seem to sacrifice more often for their children. For example, when eating out, the mother often feeds her child first. Once the child is full and the food is left, then the mother will finish it.
Fathers generally focus more on high expectations of their children and encourage children to deliver them consistently. Fathers tend to be less focused on making their children feel comfortable or safe, while fathers prefer to challenge their children and help them prepare for the real world.
The emotional relationship that a mother has with her child is not the same as the father’s relationship. For example, a father who has twins often finds it difficult to distinguish between babies. Meanwhile, his wife has no problem at all.
Dad, don’t talk like mom. A father, on the other hand, is generally short, to this day.
Fathers also seem to be ‘too difficult’ compared to mothers, but fatherly toughness aims to help children prepare for real life. From a disciplinary point of view, fathers tend to drop immediate consequences and talk to them later.
Fathers also tend to seem less self-sacrificing for their children, at least in a clear way. Parental sacrifice tends to be more focused on the family as a whole, so it seems less on children.
Various studies show that fathers also play an important role in the lives of their children.
However, how to combine different roles and styles into a cohesive approach to effective parenting.
- Children are confused with different expectations of their father and mother.
- When parents show differences, children may be more attracted to one parent or another because they prefer their parenting style.
- As they grow older, conflicts in childhood can lead to isolation or depression.
Fathers and mothers should find the right balance in incorporating their parenting style. Also, balancing and combining parenting styles requires careful thought and action. Well, here’s how to balance it:
Parents with different approaches need to find a comfortable place for both of them to work together in their approach. These negotiations should be discussed in private, not in front of the child.
We need to communicate a lot, talk about differences, and then work together and compromise. This will help us and our partner find the right combination of parenting styles.
Supporting each other in parenting is very important. So, Bun, we may be in a situation where our husband does not have the same view. This can happen if our husband and I are not consistent in applying the rules.
It is better if we do not agree on the parenting style of any party in front of the children. If one of us or our husband should let the other lead in a particular situation, the other should let the matter happen and then discuss it later.
3. Firm Parents
When parents have a different approach, decide in advance to let the more assertive parent win. Children will try to manipulate and approach parents who are more “peaceful” and gentle first. At a time like this, take care of parents who are more structured and have rules so that there is no manipulation in the future.
4. Follow the Key Values
Parenting styles may differ, but it does not matter as long as you and your husband follow the agreed values. Then we and our friends can discuss how to apply these values in the best way to apply them.
5. Ask for help
If different parenting styles are very difficult to compromise and instead make us and my husband quarrel all the time, try to get help, Bun. We can talk to a family therapist or a trusted friend who looks like a successful parent.
Mothers may also consider attending parenting classes offered by school programs or local parenting programs to help with specific problems with the family.
Working together to blend parenting styles requires a lot of effort and focus. But the positive effect if one day we agree with our husband in parenting, there is a lot, Bun.
Marriage and family therapist Gary Brown, Ph.D., previously said that the role of the father is very beneficial for the development of daughters. Among other things, the role of fathers can form a strong bond with their children and help them identify consistent sources of care, safety, protection, respect, and support.
“These things when found by girls are useful when exploring the world and interacting with others. Yes, even during school days, in general, the role of the father physically, psychologically, and socially is more important for the children,” Brown said. , excerpted from Redbook.