Types of Parenting Related to Bullying

Types of Parenting Related to Bullying

Types of parenting related to bullying. One of the phenomena that attracts attention in the world of education today is the violence of schools committed by students.

The uprising (bullying) perpetrated by students in schools, which increasingly adorns the rows of news on the pages of print and electronic media, is proof that human values ​​have been uprooted.

Types of Parenting Related to Bullying
Types of Parenting Related to Bullying

Bullying behavior, an old phenomenon, has recently become an interesting research study in education over the last ten years, systematic research on the topic began in the 1970s and is limited to Scandinavian countries (Olweus, 2002).

Yet, within two decades, many countries (e.g., Japan, the UK, Canada, the US) began to study bullying behavior in schools. In particular, what is interesting here has been triggered by the occurrence of violence in schools around the world (Mc Everyern et. Al., 2005).

Bullying behavior is a negative action repeated by some or more students who attack because of an imbalance of power between the parties involved. Examples of bullying include teasing, spreading gossip, inciting, isolating, intimidating, threatening, bullying, shouting or physically attacking such as pushing, slapping, or hitting.

Bullying can be defined as a recurring emotional, verbal, and / or physical attack
against students and other vulnerable students who are truly unable to defend themselves because of their size and strength.

Bullying implies a power imbalance that usually occurs without provocation. Along with physical and verbal abuse, these can also include bullying, spreading rumors, theft, tripping, destruction of other people’s property, sexual harassment, danger due to sexual orientation, race, or ethnicity (Sampson, 2002).

Studies conducted in various countries show that 8-38% of students are bullied. Chronic victims of bullying, bullied once a week or more, generally make up 8-20% of the student population. A recent study in the United States found that bullying rates are higher in America than in some other countries.

13% of grade six to ten students, 10% report bullying, and about 6% fall victim (Sampson, 2002). Olweus (2002) studied 140,000 Norwegian children between the ages of 8 and 16, finding that about 15% of them were bullied.

The results of a study by bullying intervention expert Dr. Army Huneck at Yayasan Semai Jiwa Amini 2008 revealed that 10-60% of students are reported to be teased, ridiculed, ostracized, beaten, kicked or pushed at least once a week.

Riauskina (2005) in Wiyani (2012) then classifies bullying behavior into five categories, including:

  1. Direct physical contact (hitting, pushing, biting, grabbing, kicking, locking someone in a room, pinching, scratching, blackmailing, and breaking other people’s belongings).
  2. Direct verbal contact (threatening, insulting, demeaning, harassing, calling (calling names), putting up, criticizing / mocking, intimidating, slandering, and spreading gossip).
  3. Nonverbal direct behavior (looking sarcastic, sticking out tongue, showing insulting, mocking or threatening facial expressions is usually accompanied by physical or verbal bullying)
  4. Indirect nonverbal behavior (silencing someone, manipulating friendships to crack, deliberately isolating and ignoring, sending anonymous letters)
  5. Sexual harassment (sometimes categorized as physical or verbal aggressive behavior) Olweus (1994) revealed in Mc Eacern et al (2005) that bullying in schools seems to be the school climate, school policy and student supervision contribute to the frequency of bullying in schools everywhere certain schools. .

According to Dake et al. (2003) the factors influencing bullying behavior are as follows:

  • Family socioeconomic status.
  • Level of parental education.
  • Family composition (closeness / divorce / remarriage)
  • Parenting style.

Parenting is a pattern of interaction between parents and children, that is, how parents’ attitudes or behaviors when interacting with children, including how to apply rules, teach values ​​/ norms, pay attention and love and show good attitudes and behaviors so that they become role models for their children (Dariyo, 2004).

Adolescent socialization is strongly influenced by the parenting style of parents in the family, including the following:

  1. The authoritarian attitude of the parents (wanting to win alone, always controlling, all orders must be obeyed regardless of the opinion and wishes of the child) will greatly influence the development of adolescent personality. He will develop into a coward, less confident, feel worthless, so that the socialization process is disrupted.
  2. The permissive attitude of parents (all-permitted, never forbidding, always obeying the wishes of the child, always pampering) will foster an attitude of dependence and difficulty in adapting to the social environment outside the family.
  3. The attitude of parents who always compare their children will foster unhealthy competition and mutual suspicion between siblings.
  4. The attitude of parents who are ambitious and overly demanding of their children will cause the child to tend to experience frustration, fear of failure, and feel worthless.
  5. The democratic attitude of parents, will follow the existence of children as individuals and social beings, and be willing to listen and respect the opinions of children. This condition will create a balance between individual and social development, so that the child will get a healthy mental state.

Students identified as bullies were 1.65 times more likely to be seen in children from families with authoritarian parents than in participatory parenting. Punishing / overly disciplined parenting also causes children to have bullying behaviors.

Experts, both Piaget and Kohlberg agree that parents play a key role in the formation and moral development of a child. The responsibility of parents to instill moral values, ethics, manners and even religious values ​​from an early age to their children will leave an impact on their hearts and souls.

John Locke equates that the heart and brain of a child is still a blank piece of paper. The sheet is still sacred, so whatever is on the sheet depends very much on the parents how he writes, draws, draws or colors, as well as the education he has received since childhood will influence the thoughts and behaviors of the child (Dariyo, 2004) .

Hironimus Sugi of Plan International concluded that cases of violence against children in schools ranked second after violence against children in the family. In fact, if students are often victims of violence, they may have a difficult character in the future.

This will collectively have a negative impact on the life of the country (Wiyani, 2012). Child bullies have the potential and tend to be juvenile delinquents, and perpetrators of violence and trapped in criminal acts. The perpetrator of bullying will also have difficulties in social relationships and if this behavior occurs until adulthood, of course it will have a very wide impact.

Students who watch are also potentially disruptive. Consequences of bullying practices that occur at the primary school level, which can eventually lead to death. The death of this primary school student was triggered by insecurity and frustration because his schoolmates were often ridiculed as porridge boys.

Olweus’ latest research (2011) on bullying is reported as a crime in Sweden. This study aims to find out the types of parenting styles related to bullying in high school.

Another theory on educational factors is also put forward by Hibana (2002), namely that parents who have received higher education will have good knowledge in caring for their children so that they will use more democratic parenting techniques than uneducated parents and knowledge.

The educational background of parents can affect the thinking of parents, both formal and non-formal, and then also affect the aspirations or expectations of parents towards their children. Another thing that can be seen from the community of Semarang based on observations by researchers that can influence democratic parenting is the characteristics of a friendly and polite society.

Based on the researcher’s observations, students also have the characteristics of being friendly, polite and willing to cooperate in research and have good academic achievement. This can be seen from the charter-
charters obtained by students are displayed in the School living room.

experts state that violence in education can be caused by poor systems and policies in education, especially high school. Religious education plays an important role in controlling bullying behavior because religious education teaches good norms, morals and ethics.

Another thing that can be seen from the light bullying behavior committed by students in high school is the influence of democratic parenting felt by many students according to the results of the study based on the description of parenting style, as stated, one of the factors influencing adolescent behavior is old parenting style .

Based on the observations by the researchers, the students are friendly, polite and willing to cooperate in research and have good academic achievement. Descriptions of bullying behavior committed by students can be seen from the results of questionnaires that have been completed by students, that is, students will sometimes be violated by hitting or pushing if students feel threatened, students sometimes tease friends by locking them in the bathroom or room degrees, students sometimes feel jealous if a friend has something new, students sometimes like to mock a friend by calling their parents name.

The description of bullying behavior committed by students can be seen from the results of the questionnaire that has been completed by students, that is, students always fight by hitting or pushing friends if they feel threatened, students always tease friends by locking them in the bathroom or classroom, students always feel jealous when friends have new things, students always or often mock friends by calling their parents ‘names or nicknames, always or often stay away from friends if students do not like their friends, always talk about friends’ problems with other friends, always be friends and play with their friends only.

How Parenting Style Change A Child’s Personality

How Parenting Style Change A Child’s Personality

How parenting style change a child’s personality. Being a parent is a joy in itself for married adults. To carry out the trust entrusted to us by God, which is to have children who must be properly educated and developed.

Many factors influence the formation of personality in children. According to Sigmund Freud in the theory of psychoanalysis, the development of a child’s personality is influenced by what he received during the heyday, namely the first 0-6 years of life and the ability to go through each phase of development, if a child gets a good education and care, it will produce children have a good personality like an adult.

How Parenting Style Change A Child's Personality
How Parenting Style Change A Child’s Personality

The first environment a child encounters is a family consisting of father, mother, and siblings. In interaction, a child adapts to what is seen and learned in the family. A child raised by a family with high emotional intensity will affect his emotional intelligence as he grows up.

Good care and education from the family are essential in shaping the child’s personality. The definition of family can be seen in the narrow sense, as a nuclear family which is the smallest social group of society formed based on marriage and consists of husband (father), wife (mother), and their children.

Each family has a different parenting style in educating the child and is usually passed down by the parents received from the previous parents. Parenting can be defined as a pattern of interaction between children and parents that includes the fulfillment of physical needs (such as eating, drinking, etc.) and psychological needs (such as safety, love, etc.), as well as the socialization of norms that occur in society. so that children can live in harmony with their environment (Latifah, 2011)

In other words, parenting also encompasses patterns of parent-child interaction in the context of children’s character education. So the style played by parents in developing the character of children is very important, whether authoritarian, democratic, or permissive. The form of parenting affects the formation of the child’s personality after he or she grows up.

This is because the characteristics and elements of an adult character are planted long before the seeds are planted and implanted into a person’s soul from the beginning, that is when he or she is still a child. That is, parental treatment of their children from an early age will affect their social and moral development in adulthood.

These social and moral developments will shape the character and attitudes of children in the future, although several other factors influence the formation of children’s attitudes reflected in the character they have. According to Megawangi (2003), children will grow into individuals who have character if they can grow in an environment that has character, so that the nature of each child born pure can develop optimally.

Since the child’s environment is not just a micro-family environment, all parties including family, school, mass media, the business community, etc. also influence the development of children’s character. In other words, developing the next generation with good character is the responsibility of all parties.

The importance of character building in the family can also be seen from the results of Fika and Zamroni’s study that parents educate their children’s character through good parenting, give examples of behaviors and habits, provide explanations for actions, apply high standards and realities to children, and involve children in decision making.

The results of character education in the family show that children who grow up in a complete family feel more satisfied with their love, fewer children have problems and freedom, and children become more obedient. In providing care and education to children, each family has a different parenting style from one family to another.

In the book on adolescent psychology, parenting is the attitude and way of parents in preparing younger family members including children to be able to make their own decisions and act independently until they experience a change from relying on their parents to be independent and responsible to themselves alone.

Monks et al provide an understanding of parenting as a means, i.e. fathers and mothers providing love and parenting that have a profound influence on how children view themselves and their environment. Research shows that parenting is important in providing a more complete model of behavior for children.

The role of parents in caring for children is not only important to protect the child’s mental development from negative things, but also to shape their character and personality so that they become spiritual beings who are always obedient to their religion. This paper is qualitative research that focuses on library research.

By reviewing books and manuscripts relevant to the problems raised in this study. The data source used is divided into two primary and secondary forms. Primary data is a book that serves as the main guide in the form of research on parenting styles and parenting strategies.

Meanwhile, secondary data is a book that is still considered relevant to research studies. The method of analysis used is descriptive analysis, which is used to determine the relationship between categories and others, through interpretation according to the study map guided by the problem being studied in the purpose of research, to create the construction of the theory according to the research problem (Surakhmand, 1980: 93 ).

Factors Affecting Child Development. Health and Wellness Health and well-being are some of the factors that a child must have to grow well. The psychological development of a child also depends on the physical growth and health of the child.

Malnutrition during infancy will cause the baby to not grow well and become damp. Very serious nutritional deficiencies are called marasmus and kwashiorkor. Marasmus is a serious dietary measure caused by inadequate calorie intake.

Babies with marasmus are small, thin, and look older. Kwashiorkor is a serious nutritional deficiency caused by a lack of protein. The child’s stomach and legs are swollen with water.

The disease usually appears between the ages of 1 to 3 years. Marasmus and kwashiorkor are serious problems in developing countries, with 50% of deaths under the age of 5 (UNICEF, 2003). Lack of nutrition in children such as lack of iron, vitamin, or adequate protein causes low immunity to disease.

Children who are malnourished at 3 years of age show more aggressive and hyperactive behavior at 8 years of age, have more external problems at 11 years of age, and show excessive motor behavior at 17 years of age (Liu et al., 2003). leads to the health and well-being of children such as poverty, poor health care, malnutrition, drug, and alcohol abuse.

The responsibility for the health and well-being of the child lies in the hands of parents, teachers, nurses, doctors by familiarizing the child with a healthy life. Parents are expected to instill healthy habits in their children so that they can help their children get good health and nutrition.

Meanwhile, teachers in schools are expected to have strategies in implementing a healthy lifestyle in the school environment to prevent disease outbreaks in children in the school environment. Meanwhile, doctors and nurses provide socialization to the community on how to adopt a healthy lifestyle. b. Family and Child Care Every family is a system, a unit formed by interconnected and interconnected parts.

Relationships never go one way. In a family, the interaction between family members is expected to be two-way. Santrock (2007: 157) states that bilateral interaction in the family is called helping each other, which means that each person’s behavior depends on the behavior of his previous partner.

Positive reciprocal relationships between parents and children influence the way a child behaves towards both parents. A family is a group of subsystems called generation, gender, and role. Each family member is a participant in several subsystems. According to Cox & Paly (2003) subsystems in each family affect each other either directly or indirectly.

Family members consisting of two people are called dyadic, while more than two people are called polyadic. Mother and father are the dyadic subsystems, mother and father represent the polyadic system, mother and two siblings are other polyadic systems (Santrock, 2007: 158). The results of research (Cumminghams et al, 2002) state that increased marital satisfaction can result in better parenting. well, marital relationships, childcare, and behaviors influence each other, either directly or indirectly.

The development of a child’s personality begins with the child’s interaction with his or her family. Positive acceptance, sincere love, and good parenting will shape the character of the child as the child grows up.

A child raised with comfort and love in the family will surely make the family a place to share grievances, and conversely, if a child does not find comfort in the family, he or she will find a way out of the home resulting in the child confused about identity. himself.

The family has a very important role to play in developing the child’s personality. Loving parental care and education on the values ​​of life, both religious and socio-cultural, is a conducive factor in preparing children to become healthy individuals and members of society.

Alexander A Schneiders (1960: 405) argues that the ideal family is characterized by the following characteristics: minimum disputes between parents or parents and children; there is an opportunity to express a desire; full of love; the use of moderate discipline; there are opportunities to be independent in thinking, feeling and behaving; mutual respect, respect between parents and children; parents have stable emotions; advanced in the economy; practicing moral and religious values.

If the family is unable to perform or perform these functions, it is called family dysfunction. According to Dadang Hawari (1997: 165), a child raised in a dysfunctional family will have a greater risk of growth and mental development.

Erick Erikson suggests eight stages of psychological development in a person’s life and it all depends on the experiences he or she goes through in the family. In the first year, a child must develop basic beliefs, in the second year he must develop autonomy, and in the following year, he must learn initiatives that lead to the discovery of his own identity.

A healthy family climate or the attention of loving parents is an important factor that facilitates the psychological development of the child. Personality is a series of inactive behaviors performed by individuals in dealing with received stimuli. The factors that shape a person’s personality are genetic and environmental.

Genetic factors in psychology are known as nativism theory, while environmental factors are known as empiricism theory. Environmental factors that shape a child’s personality are a group of behaviors that are accepted from childhood to adulthood. The role of the environment is very important in shaping the personality of the child.

The role of the environment in it includes the patterns and habits of parenting that are applied by parents to children from an early age. Several types of parenting styles can be applied to children and the resulting behavioral effects, namely: c. Education Children’s education is derived from the school environment, which is a formal institution that conducts guidance, teaching, and training programs to help students develop their potential, both from a moral-spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and social aspect.

According to Havighurst (1961: 5) schools have an important role or responsibility in helping students achieve their developmental tasks. Schools should strive to create a conducive climate, or conditions that can make it easier for students to achieve their developmental tasks.

The school’s efforts to facilitate the development of students will be successful if the school has created a healthy climate or environment, concerning the management and professionalism of its officers. good or develop academic achievement.

Social skills, politeness, positive attitude towards learning, low student absenteeism, and provide skills that allow students to work. Effective schools are not only characterized by the above characteristics but are also supported by the quality of teachers, both personal characteristics and competencies.

The personal characteristics and competencies of teachers greatly influence the quality of the classroom climate, the learning process in the classroom, or the relationship between teachers and students in the classroom which in turn will influence student learning success Allan C Orsnstein (1990: 549) suggests research results stating that characteristics -characteristics of effective teachers or hopefully it is classified into four-dimensional groups of teachers, namely creative characterized by imaginative behavior, easy to experiment, and original; dynamic behavior, i.e. energetic and extroverted; orderly is characterized by behavior that has goals, is good at finding ways to solve problems, and has control. Education given to children is obtained from formal education and education from parents.

In providing education, several factors influence the achievement of children’s educational success. According to Albert Schweitzer, (in Yusuf S, 2012: 47) effective education that can be given to children is as follows: first, that is modeling, where parents make themselves a model for children, parents are the first model and most important for positive children. nor is it negative.

The way children think and behave is formed from the way parents think and behave. Through modeling, a child will learn about proactive attitude, respect, and love. The second education is to make parents as mentors, where parents make themselves the first mentors for children in establishing relationships and giving deep love, both positively and negatively. Parents are the first source for the development of children’s feelings such as feeling safe, loved.

There are five ways to give love to children, namely: listening and feeling what the child feels; sharing views, knowledge, emotions, and beliefs with children; giving reinforcement, trust, appreciation, and encouragement to children; sincerely pray for the child and sacrifice to the child in terms of availability of time and serve the needs of the child.

The third education that parents need to do for their children is teaching, where parents act as teachers for their children on the basic laws of life. Parents strive to strengthen the principles of life so that they understand and apply them. The role of parents as teachers is to create “shared competence”, where children know and experience what they are doing and the reasons they exercise this right.

The development of a child’s personality is influenced by genetic and environmental factors. The family has an important role in shaping the personality of the child because the family is the first madrasah in life. In the process of parenting, every parent has a different parenting style.

There are three types of parenting styles used by parents in caring for their children. The first parenting style is authoritarian parenting. This parenting style reflects the attitude of parents who are firm and tend to be discriminatory. This is characterized by the child’s pressure to comply with all parental orders and wishes, very strict control over the child’s behavior, the child does not gain parental trust, the child is often punished, if the child gets the achievement, he is rarely given praise or gifts.

The results show that children of authoritative parents have greater stress than children raised by receptive parents. The second parenting style, which is democratic parenting, this parenting has the recognition of the ability of parents, children are allowed to not always depend.

This parenting style educates and gives responsible freedom to children. By having responsible freedom, children will be able to develop their potential properly. The third parenting style is permissive parenting.

Permissive parenting allows children to act according to their wishes, parents do not give punishment and control. This parenting style is characterized by the existence of unlimited freedom for children to act according to their own will, parents never give rules and instructions to children, so that children will behave according to their own will.

The education and care of parents in shaping the personality of the child is also determined by the method chosen by the parents. There are several methods that parents can use, namely the exemplary method; nature; attention; advice, and punishment.

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting effects

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting effects

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting effects. 2020 is indeed a special year, almost all parts of the world were shocked by the arrival of a new virus called Covid-19. As of this writing, there are no signs when this virus will end.

With this incident, many new policies and regulations emerged for many people. This new life order also affects us a lot as a small part of the world, namely the family.

The calls for Stay At Home or Work From Home give us more time to pay more attention to our family. No less important here is the issue of education for our children.

Parents in general want the best for their children.

‘It is not enough to love the young; they must know that they are loved ‘- St. John Bosco

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting
Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting

Most parents will ask, what is the best education for our children? Domo Parents will try to discuss all points of view of education to children in detail. We’ll start with authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting.

Before we talk further about parenting education, we should first get to know the meaning of authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting.

Authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting according to experts

Diana Baumrind divides the types of parenting into three, as follows:

1. Authoritative parenting is a parenting style that shows extra tight supervision of children’s behavior, but they are also responsive, respect, and respect thoughts, feelings, and involve children in decision making.

Authoritative parenting characteristics are democratic. And this is the parenting style that is considered the best for kids.

2. Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style that limits and demands that children follow parental orders. Authoritarian parents set strict boundaries and do not provide great opportunities for children to express their opinions.

Authoritarian parents also tend to be arbitrary and undemocratic in making decisions, impose roles or views on children based on their abilities and power, and do not respect their thoughts and feelings.

3. Permissive parenting can be divided into two forms, namely:

Permissive-indulgent parenting is a parenting style in which parents are very involved in the child’s life but set a few limits or control over them.

Permissive-indulgent parenting is associated with a lack of self-control, as permissive-indulgent parents tend to let their children do whatever they want.

As a result, children never learn to control their behavior and always expect all their wishes to be obeyed.

Permissive-indifferent parenting, which is a parenting style in which parents are not very involved in the child’s life. Children raised by permissive-indifferent parents tend to lack self-confidence, poor self-control, and low self-esteem.

From the explanation above, I will summarize the differences, the effects received by children from Authoritative parenting and Authoritarian parenting.

Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting
Authoritative parenting
Authoritarian parenting
1. Confidence Suspicious
2. High self-esteem Self-esteem decreases
3. Obey the rules Rebel
4. Enthusiastic Emotional

Of the many existing parenting styles, the author is more likely to talk about authoritative parenting styles, because authoritative parenting has a strong positive impact on children’s academics. This is a strong reason (for me) to discuss it earlier than other parenting styles.

Opinions of experts related to authoritative parenting with children’s learning achievement:

– Authoritative parenting is a form of parenting treatment that is highly correlated with children’s learning achievement (Nyarko, 2011).

Knollman and Wild (2007) state that the achievement of student achievement is largely determined by the presence of parental support (I think all agree with this opinion). This support includes the involvement and motivation of parents in helping the learning process.

Hurlock (2009) parents must be able to provide appropriate treatment by children’s development so that children can perceive the care given to them well so that they can motivate their learning.

The effects of authoritative parenting with children’s education are; the more authoritative parenting practices that are accepted by students, the students have high learning achievement.

Likewise, on the other hand, if non-authoritative parenting practices are accepted by students, learning achievement is also low.

Pros and cons between authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting.

Pros of Authoritarian Parenting

As we already know, the character of parents in educating children with authoritarian parenting will provide assertiveness in every command or rule without any resistance. However, this is not always bad if we want to look at it from a different perspective.

There are positive effects of authoritarian parenting

1. Obey the rules

This kind of parenting tends to form a pattern for children to always obey the rules, no matter what. They will lose the limits of an authority figure, they will always feel at peace doing what they are told. Not infrequently this is a matter of pride.

2. On the track

Because it is black and white, so there is a clear boundary between the orders and the sanctions of what they will make. It is highly unlikely that these children with authoritarian parenting will get off track.

3. Goal-oriented

Children raised in authoritarian families will be very goal-focused. Rigid rules are formed by parents for a purpose so that the atmosphere that is formed is productivity and success. They are well aware of the consequences, so there is only a goal of success in carrying them out.

Like two sides of a coin, authoritarian parenting also creates contra. These two sides of the pros and cons will always accompany everything, including the problem of authoritarian parenting.

Cons Authoritarian Parenting

Many studies have revealed that one of the effects of authoritarian parenting is “depression and anxiety”.

Its black and white, firm, and rigid nature will put more burden on the child in carrying it out. Children will lose space to argue, comment, or even ask questions.

1. Suspicious

Because all lines of command are on parental authority, when children encounter a situation that has no guidelines, they will tend to be unsure of what they will do.

2. Decreased self-esteem

Decreased self-esteem is caused by the impact of children losing their natural choices and abilities to develop their potential.

3. Rebels

What triggers a rebellious nature is “boredom,” where every day is stuffed with a list of commands that have clear consequences. And if it is not realized that it lasts a long time in our teaching patterns as parents, then the children will start to oppose us. This is bad to happen, which will have a negative impact and even harm them.

4. Emotional

Emotional tends to the accumulation of the negative effects of authoritarian parenting which I described above. All these impacts are manifested in an expression, namely; Emotional.

Pros of Authoritative Parenting

1. Confidence

Returning to the pattern of education, with good communication, freedom, and space to ask questions, argue, and comment on children to become more confident. Democracy in the family provides a good understanding of the consideration of every decision that is made.

2. High self-esteem

Children with authoritative parenting have the freedom to explore themselves, there is space to express and develop their potential.

3. Obey the rules

Obeying the rules for children accidentally will manifest from an early age. Because the best teachers are parents, and children pay attention to them from an early age. Parents teach their children well by practicing it on themselves first.

4. Enthusiastic

[For me] this is the opposite of the emotional effects of authoritarian parenting. Children do not feel burdened to do, have free space to express themselves. This positive vibration will encourage children to be enthusiastic about everything.

Cons of Authoritative Parenting

Most of the experts, especially from the psychologists state that this Authoritative parenting style is indeed the best. So it is difficult to find gaps in the shortcomings of this upbringing.

It’s natural for children in the growth phase to be rebellious, emotional, apathetic … it’s all-natural. And we as parents sometimes see it from our point of view with all our expectations.

All the best things in our dreams, we try to convey to children. These things that differentiate between authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting. Wise parents will consider the psychological impact/effect on children if they are forced.

To convey it intact to children is not as easy as what I wrote above, everyone needs patience. As parents, we still want the best for our children, so there is no stopping to do what’s best for our children.

References :

1. Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. J. Early Adolesc. 11, 56–95. doi: 10.1177/0272431691111004

2. Baumrind, D. (2005). Patterns of parental authority and adolescent autonomy. New Dir. Child Adolesc. Dev. 2005, 61–69. doi: 10.1002/cd.128

3. Nyarko, K. (2011). Parental school involvement: The case of Ghana. Journal of Emerging Trends in Education Research and Policy Studies, 2(5), 378-381.

4. Quality of parental support and students’ emotions during homework: Moderating effects of students’
motivational orientations.

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Parents Should Know These 4 Parenting Styles

Parents Should Know These 4 Parenting Styles

4 Parenting style. There is no easy way to raise children and there is no right way to be a parent. However, in any case, parenting will affect the character of the child in the future.

Parents Should Know These 4 Parenting Styles
Parents Should Know These 4 Parenting Styles

Parents want their children to grow well and achieve success. However, this also depends on the parenting style applied by parents in raising children.

Parenting style is a way of caring for children that parents do in their daily lives. Parenting style is very important in the family because it can affect the personality of the child.

What role should parents play in the child’s physical and psychological development? A psychologist suggests that parents should provide appropriate assistance.

When serving as a parent, as a playmate, or as a friend. Parents should also be very good at monitoring. When it is necessary to look carefully, from a distance, including when to trust children.

Attention and love are the foundation of children. In addition to being a place of refuge, the home environment should also serve as a place to get the necessities of life, socialize, and a place to feel safe, self-realizing, and as a vehicle to raise children to adulthood in their psychological development.

Therefore, emotional closeness is very important in parent-child relationships. Children will feel needed and valued in the family. Also, children will think that their family is an important part of themselves.

According to Steinberg, parenting has two components, namely parenting style and parenting practice. Effective parenting styles can support children’s personality development. Santrock in his book Educational Psychology (2011) discusses four types of parenting styles, namely authoritative, authoritarian, negligent, and pampering.

Several child psychologists have long studied how parenting affects children’s development. Researchers argue that there is a link between parenting patterns and children’s behavior later on.

One of the most widely used theories was discovered by psychologist Diana Baumrind. In the early 1960s, Baumrind researched more than 100 children.

From this research, Baumrind found three types of parenting. Baumrind recommends that parents use one of these three different parenting styles.

Further research was conducted by Eleanor Maccoby and John. Both of these psychologies add to one of the three parenting styles Baumrind first discovered.

Citing Very Well Mind, here are four key parenting styles.

4 Parenting Styles You Must Know

1. Authoritative Parenting

Parents who use authoritative patterns behave friendly but firm. They encourage their children to be independent and have freedom while still giving limits and control to their children.

They have standards but also provide expectations tailored to the development of the child. They show love, patiently listen to their children, support children’s involvement in family decision-making, and cultivate the habit of respecting the rights of parents and children.

This can provide an opportunity for both parties (parents and children) to understand each other and produce results that are acceptable to both parties.

The quality of parenting is believed to trigger courage, motivation, and freedom. This parenting style can also encourage the growth of social skills, increase self-confidence, and social responsibility.

They also grow well, are happy, enthusiastic, and can control themselves so that they have social and moral maturity, social agility, adaptive, creative, diligent learning in school, and achieve high learning achievement.

Parents who use authoritative patterns can enhance their children’s positive feelings, have the ability to be responsible, and be independent.

2. Authoritarian Parenting

In authoritarian parenting, parents demand high obedience and appropriateness from their children. They use more punishment, restrictions, dictatorship, and rigidity.

They have their own set of rules, rules, and demands that their children must follow. When compared to other parenting styles, parents with authoritarian patterns tend to be less friendly, unfriendly, less accepting, and less supportive of their children’s wishes, and even prefer to forbid their children to gain autonomy or engage in decision-making.

Parenting with this pattern has the potential to lead to rebellion during adolescence, children’s dependence on parents, anxiety in social comparisons, failure in creative activities, and ineffectiveness in social interactions. They also tend to lose the ability to explore, isolate themselves, become frustrated, do not dare to face challenges, lack confidence and are unhappy.

3. Neglectful Parenting

This pattern of parenting is also called indifferent parenting. In this parenting style, parents show little commitment to parenting which means they have little time and attention for their children.

As a result, they meet the demands of the children by giving them whatever they want as long as they can get it. While this is not good for children in the long run, for example, it relates to the role of household chores and socially acceptable social behavior.

Parents with this pattern tend not to know much about their child’s activities. They rarely talk and find it difficult to keep their children’s opinions in making decisions.

Parents who have a negligent parenting pattern can abuse, neglect, and neglect the needs and difficulties of their children. Lack of warmth and parental supervision makes them emotionally separated from their children so that children become deficient in all aspects, both in terms of cognition and emotional and social abilities.

If it continues to happen, it will make children with low abilities to deal with frustration and control emotions. He is often immature, less responsible, more easily incited by peers, and less able to weigh positions.

4. Indulgent Parenting

In parenting, parents tend to be receptive, gentle, and more passive in the discipline. They seduce love, do not demand, and give children high freedom to act according to their wishes.

Sometimes his parents let him make a decision even though they have not been able to do it yet. Parents like this tend to harm their children, they allow their children to harass others, protect their children excessively, allow their children to make mistakes, keep their children away from coercion, coercion, punishment, and refuse to correct deviations in children’s behavior.

Usually, children who accept this parenting style are very immature in various psychosocial aspects. They are impulsive, disobedient, reluctant to ask for something contrary to immediate desire, and lack tolerance in socializing.

In the heyday, children will be very sensitive to various stimuli and influences from outside. He will take samples and information from anywhere. Therefore, good parenting is very important in shaping your child’s personality.

Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style

Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style

Parenting style of tigers and elephants. The parenting style for each child should not be uniform, because the child is born with different characteristics.

But in general, Dr. Shimi Kang, a trained psychiatrist from Harvard University, USA, and author of the bestselling book on parenting style, The Dolphin Way, describes based on parenting style, parents from various backgrounds and social positions in the world can be divided into 3, namely:

  1. Tiger parents
  2. Jellyfish parents
  3. The parents of dolphins

Now we talk about tiger parents.

Tiger parents or tiger parents refer to the authoritarian type of parent. Tiger parents have full control over the child’s life.

Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style
Tiger and Elephant Parenting Style

They direct, protect, and even educate children harshly and excessively in the hope that children will be formed according to their desires.

Tiger parents demand discipline and academic achievement. They compete to send their children to favorite schools, enroll children in a variety of skills lessons, and apply strict rules at home. The children of tiger parents are not free to decide what they like and must meet the wishes of the parents on the grounds “for the good of the child”.

There are three elements of tiger parenting that can harm a child.

  • The schedule is too busy. This can lead to fatigue and lack of sleep in children.
  • Too protective, which makes the child vulnerable.
  • Too controlling so that the children are not confident, cannot solve problems, and can not adapt, “explained Kang.

The children of tiger parents grow up with too much control from the outside (themselves) and are too dependent on the outside environment. Although these children sometimes seem to be more successful (academically) especially at a young age, they are not able to adapt to the ups and downs of life.

Parenting styles in each family are of course different depending on the habits and values ​​in the family. Some parents prioritize the closeness between children and parents, some prioritize the discipline and freedom of children, some applications that they should constantly cultivate children’s respect for their parents, etc.

The difference between Tiger Parenting and Elephant Parenting?

1. Tiger Parenting.

Although given the name Tiger Parenting, it does not mean in its treatment it will be as troublesome as a tiger when with a tiger cub in daily life.

The term tiger care is taken from “tiger mother” by Amy Chua, the best-selling author of “tiger mother fighting song” and also a law professor from Yale University, USA.

In the book, it is explained that Amy Chua calls herself the “Mother of the Tiger” because in the eastern culture the tiger is a symbol of courage and strength.

Tiger parenting implements strict and difficult rules for children and teaches children to be trained to work harder and be more disciplined from an early age so that as adults they become accustomed to a hard world full of challenges and competition.

Often parenting applied to tiger parenting is more focused on education, so it is found that many children produced from this parenting have a very busy learning schedule inside and outside the school.

They are asked to learn all kinds of things, such as continuing to learn about various skills and arts without letting academic subjects be put aside and to get perfect scores from both of them.

Parents who practice tiger care acknowledge that they understand and know that their child will feel depressed, burdened with all the supplies provided. They think there is nothing wrong with this effect because the feeling of stress experienced by the child will make the child stronger, resilient, less courageous, and not cry when he grows up.

At first glance, tiger parenting is almost the same as authoritarian parenting. However, according to a study published by the Asian American Journal of Psychology in 2013, which contained the results of research using a sample of several families in Hmong (a tribe in Southeast Asia), China, Korea, that tiger care is a parenting style that mixes parenting. assertive (firm) and parental support.

Therefore, parents who practice tiger parenting are not only authoritarian by simply sending their children to continue learning, are forced to learn various types of skills, are asked to acquire only good values, but also parents participate and engage in these things, not even hesitant to participate in learning these skills with their children.

2. Elephants Parenting

Unlike tiger parenting, which has nothing to do with tigers, this parenting elephant is like a mother elephant where parents are always there and always help their child and tend to spoil.

Elephants Parenting
Elephants Parenting

San Francisco-based author Priyanka Sharma-Shndar writes an article in America magazine The Atlantic about how elephants care for their young with human life.

Because it turns out that in her care, the mother elephant will train her cubs to walk, help when they fall in the mud, pick up their cubs if they get lost and lost, bathe their cubs, hold them by their tails, even mother elephants are willing to sacrifice save her children from attack. predators.

Elephant parenting is parenting where we take care of our children like a mother elephant which allows children to enjoy their childhood like a toddler full of other happiness. In this parenting style, parents do not demand anything from the children, including the claim to be premature.

Not only that, parents will always be by the child’s side at all times and always help the child as long as the child needs help. The existence of elephant parenting makes children emotionally closer to their parents and reduces the possibility of conflict between parents and children.

But according to some people, elephant parenting is a parenting style that makes children more spoiled because parents are always around the child, making the child independent and always dependent on the parents.

So, what do you think, father and mother, more agree with tiger care or elephant parenting?

Also, all parenting styles must have positive and negative things, there are pros and cons. So make sure you understand more about the parenting style that will be applied in parenting. Enrich yourself with a variety of readings from references, to be more confident in determining the right parenting style for children.

But according to some people, elephant parenting is a parenting style that makes children more spoiled because parents are always around the child, making the child independent and always dependent on the parents.

Differences Father And Mother Parenting Styles In Educating Children

Differences Father And Mother Parenting Styles In Educating Children

Parents with different parenting styles. Parenting is a shared responsibility of mother and father. Now, in raising this child, there is a different parenting style, between father and mother.

Differences Father And Mother Parenting Styles In Educating Children
Differences Father And Mother Parenting Styles In Educating Children

How fathers play a role in educating their children. There seems to be a significant difference between the two.

In the 70s, there was a difference in how dad was raised. Their roles must fulfill each other, both must play a role. The difference is, mothers tend to take care of how to feed their children, change clothes.

Meanwhile, what my dad did was more cheerful, like playing on the field, laughing, or maybe something riskier. And it turns out it also has a different effect between being cared for by mom and dad.

Mothers are also more likely to use feelings and show empathy for their children than fathers.

Mothers can be more empathetic, more subtle, but sometimes barriers in the household do not find their respective tasks. But when mom and dad can communicate and share tasks, then they can help each other.

If it seems that the role is needed more to the mother, further Anna, some studies say that the mother is very necessary, especially when the child is sad and scared. At that time it was often the much-needed thing from the mother, not the father.

Mother parenting style story

A mother, as reported by The spruce, told of her neighbor who was worried about her husband’s attitude toward caring for their children. According to the wife, the husband tends to be more demanding, physically demanding, and often too strict with the children.

“I know it all sounds like something masculine, but I don’t see the difference in how the guy’s style is softer than the boys,” the mother said, mimicking her neighbor’s words.

But actually, my dad is not always difficult, Bun. Some mothers are more demanding, while the father figure looks more nurturing. But regardless of the parenting style of Father and Mother, the most important key is to balance the parenting style and integrate it.

Mothers generally have a greater role in child care. There is a greater emotional connection between mother and child than father.

Also, mothers tend to speak more orally to their children. This is because women are generally more verbal than men. Mothers use assertions more often, tend to state more clearly, and talk about issues involving discipline.

Mothers generally also put the needs of their children first. Mothers also seem to sacrifice more often for their children. For example, when eating out, the mother often feeds her child first. Once the child is full and the food is left, then the mother will finish it.

Fathers generally focus more on high expectations of their children and encourage children to deliver them consistently. Fathers tend to be less focused on making their children feel comfortable or safe, while fathers prefer to challenge their children and help them prepare for the real world.

The emotional relationship that a mother has with her child is not the same as the father’s relationship. For example, a father who has twins often finds it difficult to distinguish between babies. Meanwhile, his wife has no problem at all.

Dad, don’t talk like mom. A father, on the other hand, is generally short, to this day.

Fathers also seem to be ‘too difficult’ compared to mothers, but fatherly toughness aims to help children prepare for real life. From a disciplinary point of view, fathers tend to drop immediate consequences and talk to them later.

Fathers also tend to seem less self-sacrificing for their children, at least in a clear way. Parental sacrifice tends to be more focused on the family as a whole, so it seems less on children.

Various studies show that fathers also play an important role in the lives of their children.
However, how to combine different roles and styles into a cohesive approach to effective parenting.

Several negative things happen in a family when a combination of parenting styles is ineffective.

  1. Children are confused with different expectations of their father and mother.
  2. When parents show differences, children may be more attracted to one parent or another because they prefer their parenting style.
  3. As they grow older, conflicts in childhood can lead to isolation or depression.

Key to success

Fathers and mothers should find the right balance in incorporating their parenting style. Also, balancing and combining parenting styles requires careful thought and action. Well, here’s how to balance it:

1. Negotiations

Parents with different approaches need to find a comfortable place for both of them to work together in their approach. These negotiations should be discussed in private, not in front of the child.

We need to communicate a lot, talk about differences, and then work together and compromise. This will help us and our partner find the right combination of parenting styles.

2. Support

Supporting each other in parenting is very important. So, Bun, we may be in a situation where our husband does not have the same view. This can happen if our husband and I are not consistent in applying the rules.

It is better if we do not agree on the parenting style of any party in front of the children. If one of us or our husband should let the other lead in a particular situation, the other should let the matter happen and then discuss it later.

3. Firm Parents

When parents have a different approach, decide in advance to let the more assertive parent win. Children will try to manipulate and approach parents who are more “peaceful” and gentle first. At a time like this, take care of parents who are more structured and have rules so that there is no manipulation in the future.

4. Follow the Key Values

Parenting styles may differ, but it does not matter as long as you and your husband follow the agreed values. Then we and our friends can discuss how to apply these values ​​in the best way to apply them.

5. Ask for help

If different parenting styles are very difficult to compromise and instead make us and my husband quarrel all the time, try to get help, Bun. We can talk to a family therapist or a trusted friend who looks like a successful parent.

Mothers may also consider attending parenting classes offered by school programs or local parenting programs to help with specific problems with the family.

Working together to blend parenting styles requires a lot of effort and focus. But the positive effect if one day we agree with our husband in parenting, there is a lot, Bun.

Marriage and family therapist Gary Brown, Ph.D., previously said that the role of the father is very beneficial for the development of daughters. Among other things, the role of fathers can form a strong bond with their children and help them identify consistent sources of care, safety, protection, respect, and support.

“These things when found by girls are useful when exploring the world and interacting with others. Yes, even during school days, in general, the role of the father physically, psychologically, and socially is more important for the children,” Brown said. , excerpted from Redbook.