Maximize ‘quality time’ with children at night. Being a working mother is not easy. It is difficult to devote 8-9 hours with kids plus time to complete household tasks and other family matters. Overall because they do not have much time to spend with their kids, there is a feeling of shame that mothers feel. Especially if you miss the child’s performance when they work.
Not alone are you. A significant percentage of mothers who are working feel the same way. As tennis player Serena Williams became a new mum, she lamented on Twitter that while preparing for Wimbledon at the time, she skipped her son’s first move.
Children’s achievements are unbelievable, but they are just a small part of the essence of life, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The How of Happiness. The most important thing, Sonja said, is that you love, nurture, and help your kids, not that you see every wonderful thing that kids do.
A major Harvard Business School report released in 2018 showed that working mothers’ children grow up like unemployed mothers’ children. “Children of working parents were asked in another study from the Families and Job Institute, “If you had only one wish that could improve your parents’ career lives that influenced your own, what would it be?
Although parents believe their kids want more time with their parents, they actually expect that while at home, their parents are not depressed and exhausted.
Really what matters is not how many minutes you waste without kids, but how content and comfortable you are with your kids and family in just a few minutes. Ok, this is a technique for creating it and optimizing kids’ quality time.
1. Give Children a contact
Daniel J. Siegel, MD, UCLA School of Medicine clinical professor and author of the book Aware: The Theory and Practice of Presence, describes that physical touch will activate the social “circuit” of the brain and generate a greater sense of belonging than oneself.
A 2018 study has shown that touching a loved one’s hands will not only decrease tension but also keep the pulse and brain waves in parallel. Therefore when they come home, giving your child a quick (or long) embrace will actually help you develop a physical connection with your child.
This applies not only to girls under the age of five but also to children and boys who are older. Sonja said that parents sometimes believe that when their son is 10 or 11 years old, they don’t want to be kissed when they really want to convey affection by direct contact or touch.
2. Before arriving there, seeking calm
It is not easy to turn from busy working to ‘disturbing’ children at home from pregnancy to parenthood, according to Kate Rope, author of the book Solid as a Mother: How to Remain Safe, Happy and Mostly) Healthy From Pregnancy to Parenthood. Parents need time after a day of work to soothe their exhausted children, too.
In between these periods, this can be resolved by slowing down, for instance, while you are on your way home. By listening to their favorite songs in the car, some parents settle down, others love shows by watching Netflix or using social media. Importantly, before joining the house, make sure you “reset” yourself from an office worker to a caring parent.
3. Take control of the gadget with you
Tools are an obstacle to building meaningful time between parents and children, according to Laurie Santos, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Yale University, Connecticut, USA. When alerts occur when you are with your kids, Gadget tempts you to react immediately. A Louisiana teacher recently asked students to write about a finding that they thought would never be uncovered. Four out of 21 students said that it was a tablet for their guardians.
To the full degree possible, keep the devices hidden at night before bed. In reality, activate the ‘Silent’ or ‘Aircraft’ mode if appropriate, so that family time is not disrupted by the arrival of your mobile alerts. Your personal and work life will be managed this way.
4. Love Yourself with love
On her Instagram account @rabbitholeid, Devi Raissa, a child psychologist and founder and owner of a book company called Rabbit Hole, remembers how important it is to love yourself before becoming a mom. According to him, you can embrace yourself entirely, even your flaws, because you love yourself. So you should embrace the qualities and shortcomings of children as well. This makes kids relaxed in their parents and themselves, and can give their best of themselves, which they do not know is in themselves.
When kids and parents are relaxed, when needed or wanted, quality time can be realized. You want to sit together at the dinner table for breakfast or in bed before going to bed in the evening. The standard of time with the infant would not be impeded by insufficient time. Of course, parents who love themselves would be in a position to give their children complete love.
5. Allow a ‘practice’ exceptional
This routine can be seen to be a practice that parents and kids would perform every day, an activity provided to children by special parents. Let your child pick a book for you to read with him at bedtime, for instance. On weekends or at certain hours, other things may be undertaken. For eg, at the start of each month, households have to attend a shop or run a family hobby every 2 weeks. Made sure that this practice is still consistently done.
Digital Parenting Educating Children in the Digital Age
Digital parenting educating children in the digital age. Advances in technology cause disruptions in everyday life, from automation that threatens various livelihoods, to how people digest and convey information. Today, more than half of Indonesia’s population is connected to the Internet.
Internet penetration rates are rising year by year. Eric Schmidt, an engineer from Google, even predicts that by 2020 everyone in the world will be online. Unfortunately, advances in digital innovation and ease of Internet access are not accompanied by adequate quality human resources.
Like water or fire, technology can be seen as a gift and a threat. If not managed properly and not used wisely, it can be very dangerous. Therefore, we are of the view that the Digital Literacy Book Series, the collaboration of stakeholders of various sectors, is necessary to make it more public.
Although the word “child” is no stranger to our ears, in fact, many still do not know the classification of children. Several experts agree that the age of children is between 0-18 years.
In this age range, a child is in a period of development, both physically, cognitively, and morally (Poer, 2008: 58) that is not yet perfect. A child is considered to have no ability to fortify himself from the various adverse effects that surround him, including in consuming messages broadcast through various media.
This situation also makes the children of the audience most at risk of the negative effects of media use. Therefore, parents need to play a big role in protecting and educating their children to avoid negative effects
Child psychologist Jean Piaget divides the phases of child development into four stages. The baby is called the sensory phase (0-2 years) when the child begins to learn to move and recognize various physical objects. Toddler + or pre-operative phase (2-7 years) is characterized by the ability to combine and change the various information received by the senses as a concept packet.
Children are the phase of concrete operation (7-11 years). At this time children begin to learn abstract concepts such as complex emotional expressions. The adolescent phase operates formally (> 12 years). It is during adolescence that the ability to think logically, rationally, and systematically begins to develop and becomes the first sign of maturity.
Erikson introduces the level of emotional development of children. He divides it into 5 phases:
1. baby (0-2 years old)
In the first phase, children learn to trust their parents and guardians, if they are neglected it becomes difficult for them to build relationships with others.
2. early childhood (2-3 years)
In the second phase, the children begin to try to control the movement and freedom of their bodies, if they succeed, independence will appear otherwise, they will feel ashamed and hesitant.
3. Pre-school (3-5 years)
In the third phase, children begin to explore their environment, if they are facilitated then they will feel the purpose, if forbidden, they feel guilty.
4. school age (6-11 years)
In the fourth phase, the school environment enables children to interact more broadly so that academic achievement determines the growth of self-confidence or inferiority.
5. and adolescents (12-18 years)
In the fifth phase, teenagers begin to build relationships with others. If they can, they will feel accepted by others if they do not succeed, they will feel lonely and alone.
Following the division of phases similar to Erik Erikson, Lawrence Kolhberg describes the level of moral development of children. Babies are not used to good and bad things, so forms of rewards and punishments are almost impossible to apply in educating them.
Early childhood is the right time to introduce positive rewards for good behavior as they begin to want to benefit themselves but they do not yet understand the negative consequences and punishments.
Furthermore, preschool time is when children strive to get to know themselves and others and want acceptance from others, usually, they are easily manipulated until moral values are introduced.
As they enter school age, children begin to recognize social authority and rules, so that parents and teachers can apply strict rules. As adolescents begin to understand the social contract and the variation of moral values from various groups of society, it is important to understand tolerance to prevent conflict as well as adhere to the moral values taught. family and social environment as follows (Hapsari, 2017).
If grouped based on their communication patterns, the media can be divided into two, namely conventional media and digital media.
Conventional media includes print media (newspapers, magazines, tabloids), broadcast media (radio and television), and audio-visual media. While examples of digital media such as news websites, social media, online stores, digital games, mobile phone applications, etc. The following is a comparison of the features of mass media and digital media.
The character of the above digital media has some important effects on family behavior in using the media. There are at least four issues that parents need to consider: message creator, message nature, how the message is spread, and the effect of the message.
These four things make the social environment experienced by children today different from their parents as children. Message creators, everyone can create messages so that even small children are interested in owning an account, presenting themselves, and interacting with other strangers.
This poses a threat and an opportunity. The issue of privacy and physical protection of children from foreigners is a problem that needs to be addressed by parents. On the other hand, children can gain popularity at an early age.
This phenomenon also requires special treatment because excessive attention can hurt children. The nature of digital media messaging varies as it comes from all over the world, moreover, most are not screened by professional media workers.
This makes children receive a variety of messages that most likely do not fit the religious and cultural values of their families. Until chaos emerges to determine the standard norms of truth, appropriateness, and decency. Not only children, but adults can also experience this disorder of the norm.
Digital media messages are also numerous and even unlimited, so it is necessary to determine the time and importance of accessing these messages. Spreading the message, digital media service providers want to gain economic benefits so that they plan their media to be attractive.
A special mechanism is created so that digital media channels can recommend content according to user preferences based on previous usage records. Some digital media producers want to get social attention and recognition.
They want to direct users to follow their opinions on politics, religion, society, etc. Parents need to be aware and give their children an understanding of this goal. The effect of the message, if used properly, is that digital media is an infinite source of knowledge.
Users can use it to learn practical to complex things. But negative content has adverse effects also spread widely in the virtual world, such as fake news, violence, pornography, use. Users must be able to select and organize good and useful content, parents are friends of children for that.
The ease of creating, sending, and using digital media messages provides opportunities and risks to families. People cannot ignore the impact of digital media on their children so they need to develop digital preservation to protect their families.
Since digital media has become a part of family life, parents need to choose parenting methods in the digital age. A large number of parents were raised in the era of mass media, so they had difficulty dealing with digital media. Before determining the method of digital parenting, parents need to understand the characteristics of digital media.
After understanding some forms of parenting and digital media character, parents can develop digital care for their children. There are several general principles of digital parenting: norms, technological effects, message effects, sensitive issues, behavioral examples.
Every family has different principles of norms. Every parent needs to determine the basic values of his family before raising a child so that the limits of good and bad content depend on the values of the family. There is no need to force yourself to accept or reject other family principles as this will only lead to unnecessary conflict.
There are several actions that parents need to take in raising their children with digital media.
1. Accompanying Children
Accessing Devices Parents should always be with their children as they use digital media for two main purposes, namely negotiating access times and selecting media and channels.
Although experts recommend a maximum screen time of 2 hours a day if the activity is combined with productive or affective activities (such as communicating with family in a distant place) the duration can be flexible.
On the other hand, if parents can provide a variety of more useful activities or have important social interactions, then the time to access the device can be reduced. On the other hand, parents’ willingness to know which media and channels their children like will be very useful for building effective communication in parenting.
2. Choose Content That Is Appropriate For Children
Selection can be done with software and understanding. Parents can use the categorization or evaluation used by content providers. Some apps, such as the Play Store, for example, have special categories for families that contain child-friendly content.
Other applications such as Youtube also provide the Youtube Kids channel, make sure children only watch from those channels. But such an arrangement is not enough, because the value of each family is different, so parents need to emphasize the limits of content justice related to body appearance, violent scenes, story value, etc.
3. Understand the Information Provided by Digital Media
Understanding is done using the moral and rational framework of each family. For parents to function in education, that is, parental values that are also shared by children, information obtained through digital media needs to be discussed.
There is a lot of controversial content on the internet like bloody accident reports. Such content is of course not suitable for children to watch, but if the child already has access to it, parents need to provide understanding to avoid, not spread, and anticipate its effects on children’s feelings and thoughts.
4. Analyze Digital Content to Find Positive and Negative Patterns
This discussion aims to have parents and children have an understanding of their views on phenomena outside the home. Discussions also keep children open to various points of view that may be encountered outside the home so that they do not become extreme personalities. At the same time, parents can dig corners
looking at children according to their times so that it is easy to manage them now and in the future.
5. Confirm digital media
Not every piece of information published in digital media is factual information. Verification is done to determine whether the information received is fiction or fact, true news, or false news.
The ability to verify content requires precision and patience because parents and children must be able to trace the source of information obtained and ensure its quality.
6. Evaluate Media Content
Evaluating digital media content is the final decision on the information that has gone through the process of selection, understanding, analysis, and validation.
The decisions that arise include whether this information is trustworthy and disseminated, merely sufficient for personal knowledge, or simply negligible because it is not important information.
Discussions between parents and children can be done to train children to make decisions about the information they receive and get used to criticizing the information they receive through digital media.
7. Distribute Media Content
Based on family values and trends in digital media, parents and children can build an understanding of what content can be shared or not. At the same time, parents need to introduce the concept of private territory which in this digital age is often overlooked or even considered unimportant.
In short, anything that does not deserve to be shared with people in real life should also not be shared on digital media.
8. Produce Positive And Productive Content Together
Parents can direct their time to access the device for productive activities such as learning to draw, word processing, and data. If children are instructed to be producers, their time as consumers will be significantly reduced. They will also learn that the effective use of digital media will support their current and future skills and knowledge as adults.
9. Participate in productive activities related to digital media
There are currently many workshops and competitions where children can participate to practice their ability to use digital media productively. Elsewhere, parents can show digital evidence that many problems in the real world can be influenced by internet user interaction. For example, collecting donations for natural disaster victims can be done through the internet.
10. Working Together to Create Digital Content
Working together is the success of digital literacy skills. To be able to collaborate well and optimize the potential of digital media, digital literacy skills are needed starting from access to active participation.
Collaboration also means the ability to collaborate with many parties in creating useful digital content. In the field of family, collaboration can be done in a simple way, such as creating creative content that is worked on by parents and children.
Complete parenting time guidelines. Every parent has different activities, even because they are too busy sometimes to remember trivial things. An example that we often encounter, a company leader is always followed by his assistant and secretary. They are the ones in charge of keeping track of all schedules and promises from BOSS.
Returning to parenting children, of course, we also have to have our guidelines for them. One easy step you can take is, take notes.
History wouldn’t be heard without good recording, and we humans who have so many limitations are not wrong to have a personal assistant.
Easy steps are with the help of widely available applications such as AnyDo, Sticky Notes, and others. This note will sync with your email and wherever you are, whenever you note it will always accompany.
What are the important points in each of these notes? Domo Parenting will conclude the Parenting Guidelines which are divided into;
Technical parenting guidelines
Parenting time guidelines
Goals of parenting time guidelines
Before entering the Parenting Guidelines material, we as parents must first know what are the basic needs of children.
Here are the basic needs of children that you need to pay attention to.
A. Convention on the rights of the child according to Unicef.
The best interests of the child
Right to life; life sustainability; and developments
Respect for children’s opinions
B. Quality factors for child development
Domo Parenting divides the quality factors of child development into 3 parts;
1. Physical-Biological Needs
These physical-biological needs include the need for clothing, food, shelter, such as nutrition, immunization, body and environmental hygiene, clothing, health services/examinations, and medication, sports, playing, and resting.
2. Love and emotional needs
Since still in the womb, the child must get enough love from his parents. To ensure the physical and mental development of the child as well as the child’s psychosocial, children and parents must have strong emotional and affectionate bonds.
Believe it or not, the attitude or behavior of parents since they are still in the womb has a very big influence on the emotions between the two.
Often we hear the benefits of listening to songs to children during pregnancy, including;
Develop learning and behavioral skills
Helping babies sleep
Improve the reflexes of the newborn
Improve baby’s sense of hearing ability
3. Need for stimulation
The children’s sensory, motor, social-emotional, speech, cognitive, independent, creativity, leadership, moral and spiritual abilities must be stimulated from an early age. This is important for early detection or screening in children. From early childhood stimulation, we can find out which sensory weaknesses and which are prominent in children.
With early screening, we can determine the best steps forward for the child. This kind of parenting is found in authoritative parenting.
Parents need to adopt democratic parenting, develop emotional intelligence, independence, creativity, cooperation, leadership, and children’s moral-spirituality.
After we know the basic needs of children, now is the time for us to get to know more about parenting guidelines, see the following description;
Technical Parenting Guidelines (generally, not age bound)
Communication between children and parents must be maintained in every moment (open, positive, and often), not to restrain but as a form of attention as an expression of affection for children. Important things in communication between children and parents that must be maintained are;
Important things that children must know from their parents are; their home and work addresses, telephone numbers, and email addresses.
Personal communication without interference from outsiders.
Reasonable telephone access from parents to their children.
Parents and children have the right to communicate privately by e-mail and fax, and by card, letter, and package, without interference from others.
Emergency notification, whenever a child travels outside the area including the travel itinerary date, destination, and place where the traveling child or parent can be reached, or the name and phone number of a third person available who knows where the child or parent is it might be.
Parental responsibilities in the Parenting Guidelines
Some of the following things are the responsibility of parents to their children.
Guidelines for educating children, WHO says not to be rigid with the division of sleep time.
Hours of sleep for babies under 3 months of age;
It’s recommended to get a quality sleep time of 14 to 17 hams a day, including naps.
Hours of sleep for ages 4 to 11 months;
It is recommended that you get 12 to 16 hours of quality sleep.
– Physical activity
Increasing the age of toddlers, the sleeping hours will decrease, especially for babies aged 1 year. Toddlers aged 1 to 2 years are advised to sleep approximately 11 to 14 hours a day, this is often called quality sleep time for children aged 1 to 2 years.
The best physical activity for children aged 1 to 2 years is to invite them to play in the park. Or let children play with toys at home. The recommended time for this physical activity is 3 hours.
– Accompany While Playing
For parents, they must be familiar with educational toys, besides that, pay close attention to the materials for making these toys. Especially toys made of plastic material, this material has a special standard which has been regulated in ISO 8124 Part 1: 2018: “Safety aspects related to mechanical and physical properties“.
WHO recommends for children aged 1 to 2 years, with screentime of 1 hour a day. Screentime applies not only to gadgets but also to TVs and PC screens.
– Prohibits the use of digital media
Guidelines for how to educate toddlers with physical exercise, hours of sleep, and screen time is also supported by Dr. Jennifer Shu of the America Academy of Pediatrics.
According to him, the guidelines are very “to the point” and by current developments. The American Academy of Pediatrics has also published related screentime. In its publication, AAP recommends prohibiting the use of digital media for children under 2 years of age.
What are the goals of parenting time guidelines?
Ensuring the health and safety of children
Prepares children for life as productive adults
Introducing cultural values
Success is determined by a healthy and quality relationship between parent and child
Attachment parenting principles. Parental attachment can be defined as a parenting method that prioritizes emotional and physical closeness. This method was introduced by William Sears, a pediatrician with eight children and a wife who is also a nurse. Her background as a pediatrician has raised many questions for her on how best to care for a baby.
However, in reality, he felt that he was not an expert in caring for the baby until finally, he could find out through direct observation to the real specialist, which is a couple who are considered easy to be parents.
Sears found that in reality, parents should use their instincts. Parents don’t just rely on books or information from out there.
However, being a parent is day by day learning from everyday experiences. There are no specific parenting standards because every parent is different, developing each other the best way to raise a child.
Parental sensitivity is needed in nurturing what Sears calls “baby reading”. The goal is for parents to understand each child, help the child feel comfortable, and enjoy parenting.
Supporters of this method and philosophy, including one of them, is Dr. William Sears, MD, a well-known pediatrician who also popularized this method, through his book “The Baby’s Book”. Doctors conclude that the bond of trust and safety between children and parents will form a strong foundation for children’s relationships and independence as they grow up.
At the heart of parenting, relationships are John Bowlby’s approach to attachment theory. Appendix theory was the cornerstone of maternal deficiency research and animal behavior research in the early 1950s. Attachment theory says that babies instinctively need a close or secure “attachment figure”. This closeness is important for the baby to feel emotionally secure.
Preliminary animal studies have found that baby primates prefer warm “mother” dolls, compared to other dolls that have food but are less warm.
Parental care is based on the premise that babies learn to trust and thrive when their needs are consistently provided by the caregiver at an early age. Children who have never experienced this attachment at an early age, according to supporting data, are less likely to develop healthy bonding later. They become less secure, less empathetic, and in some extreme cases, bond and behavioral disorders.
Parental attachment is a huge commitment and is something that mothers alone cannot do. Babies need as much love as they can from Dad, along with the comfort and convenience that only a father can give.
A father can also help take care of his children by loving and supporting his wife. Because parental relationships will not work well without help from the father. Father support can take many forms, such as creating an environment that supports the mother to focus her energy and attention on the child.
For example, breastfeeding can only be done by the mother, but the father’s help in the form of caring for the mother during the breastfeeding period so that he can give more breast milk is an indirect form of the father also gives breast milk to the child.
There are 8 principles of parental relationships, namely:
Be prepared for pregnancy, birth, and care. Proponents of this theory believe that getting rid of negative thoughts and feelings about pregnancy is extremely important. Doing so can help parents prepare for all the emotional demands of parents.
Give constant love. Proponents of this method also indicate the constant presence of parents. This includes taking the kids for a walk, going out with the parents, and working. They claim to be by the side of children for 20 hours every week for babies less than 30 months old.
Teach positive discipline. Parents are advised to move, direct, and guide even the newborn, and be an example of positive behavior. Attachment parenting aims to understand children’s communication with negative behaviors. And parents are encouraged to find a way out by talking to their children, rather than hitting or silencing their child’s requests.
Night care. Attachment care specialists recommend arranging bedtime together. By sleeping together in the same room as the baby, parents can feed and soothe the baby directly at night. However, be careful because sleeping with a baby will carry the risk of sudden death syndrome in the baby.
Respond gently. This method of parental communication makes parents consider all of their children’s emotional expressions, including repetitive fury, as an attempt to communicate. These efforts should be taken seriously and wisely rather than punishing them or telling them to remain silent.
Soft touch. Proponents of this method recommend maximizing skin contact, including bathing and dressing together, and hugging the baby face to face.
Instill the principle of balance in life. Parents are also encouraged to create a supportive network and a healthy lifestyle. However, if viewed more carefully and wisely, parental love is not a standard rule, and every parent does it with little difference in practice to adapt to the needs and values embedded in parents.
Feed with love. Breastfeeding is said to be the best way to create a bond between mother and baby. It can also teach babies that parents are always paying attention to their signs and meeting their needs. Because crying is a way for babies to communicate their needs to their parents.
Parenting and caring for children is an art, not an exact science. Also, consider your policy to determine what works best for you and your family.
The development of an increasingly modern world requires children in adolescence to develop their knowledge of new things and develop their identity, where teenagers want to be given the freedom to do what they want.
Adolescence is the age between the corridors aged 12 to 18 years. Adolescence is the gray age because in adolescence there are many vague things to include in the minds of adults (Christ, 2010).
The World Health Organization (WHO), 2011 states that nine percent of deaths, of which 2.5 million are aged 15-29, are due to alcohol consumption.
Several factors influence alcohol consumption behavior in adolescents, namely personal factors, peers, and parents.
Parents who give examples of alcohol and drug intake and are careless (neglect).
Most studies on adolescent drug users, the results show that problems in relationships with their parents are the reason why they use drugs.
Permissive parenting is a parenting style in which parents give their children complete freedom. Permissive parenting characteristics, i.e., loose parents, not giving too much guidance and control, lack of attention, and full control of the child lie in the child himself.
Permissive parenting tends to give children the freedom to do whatever it takes they are not so conducive to the formation of children’s character. Permissive parenting practices can cause teens to lack good self-control or act at will and feel that they are not an important part of their parents.
It can be concluded that alcohol consumption behavior in children is mostly adolescents. There is a significant relationship between parental parenting and alcohol consumption behaviors in adolescents.
Overcoming Alcohol Addiction with Medical Assistance
If you have tried the above methods and have not been able to get rid of alcohol addiction, then you should immediately see a doctor for treatment or treatment that is effective according to your level of addiction.
Detox programs will be offered as a first treatment and an important step to avoid alcoholism. Detoxification works to remove alcohol from your system.
Detoxification is done in a therapy center or hospital. It takes at least seven days for this detoxification procedure. You may also need additional medication to prevent symptoms of alcohol dependence during the detoxification process, such as tremors, confusion, hallucinations, and seizures.
2. Counseling and behavioral therapy
Generally, your doctor will recommend you to a counselor or other alcohol addiction management program. This program aims to help you learn strategies and how to deal with your desire to drink again.
Generally, the desire to indulge in old habits becomes stronger once you return to the environment. Counseling can be done individually or in groups. Joining others who are experiencing the same thing will help you support each other in overcoming alcohol addiction.
The Influence of Parental Discipline on the Character of Primary School Children
Parental discipline on the character of primary school children. One of the stages of development that human beings will go through is the level of primary school children and the level of children gathering and gathering with friends. Children want to be accepted by peers as members by adhering to their group standards so that reciprocity is important in a friendship.
Friendships will be positive or negative, it all depends on the child’s experience through parental care. Sangawi, Adams, and Reiss Land (2015) show that negative parenting with parents will cause problem behaviors for children.
The biggest challenge for parents in raising their children is to prepare their children to enter the social environment. Based on ecological theory, the family is the immediate environment of the child which is a place for children to develop to form patterns and habits (Santrock, 2012: 32).
Therefore, parents need to instill moral values in their children through disciplined parenting. Hoffman (2000) states that parents try to practice parenting persuasively through disciplinary style by exploring the influence of parental discipline on values in children.
Discipline often arises when children face conflicts between their desires and moral standards that occur so that parents repeatedly use certain disciplinary methods that help the child develop the emotions (e.g., empathy) needed in balancing the desires of the child and others in moral behavior.
The proper application of disciplinary methods by parents will provide opportunities for children to develop morals and avoid negative behaviors (Patrick and Gibbs, 2007). Spiritual is an individual that involves the search for a greater purpose, meaning, power, and relationship than the self, the transcendent source, or the universe (Iglesias, 2010).
According to morphic field theory, the behavior is derived from the resonance of morphic fields that is formed continuously and becomes a pattern of habit and this pattern of habit will form a character (Sheldrake, 1987).
Parents provide ongoing love and warmth with their spirituality and children can feel that spirituality. Spirituality becomes a pattern or habit for children to become a character. Children with high spiritual possibilities will not behave negatively.
Lickona (2001) says that a character experiences growth that turns value into a character, an internal character used in responding to situations morally. Character refers to aspects of personality learned through experience, training, or the process of socialization.
Character is something that a person does in learning how to behave in social or interpersonal situations that shape behavior based on the need to be seen in a positive way, such as moral or virtuous, but other parts have to do with how people want to see and feel it. (Miller, Kraus, and Veltkamp, 2005).
The good values possessed by the individual will reflect the character’s behavior (Lickona, 2001). The results of previous studies show that parental discipline is related to the character of children. Research in America on 116 female students through perceptions shows that parents use strategies to improve children’s behavior.
Maternal disciplinary care involving physical violence is associated with depression, anxiety, and children’s self-esteem (Renk et al., 2005). Children assume their parents have the discipline of physical violence to have a low character.
Parents play a harmonious and holistic role for their children (Runcan and Goian, 2014). As the results of studies in America show that one of the roles of parents is their spiritual practice that influences children in understanding values (Iglesias, 2010).
Family characteristics consist of parental age, parental education, parental employment, family size, and family income.
Parenting Patterns Discipline Parenting discipline is a method used by parents in reducing inappropriate behavior in meeting the needs of children (Renk, et al., 2002).
The parenting pattern of inductive discipline that mothers give to daughters has a higher average than sons. The parental style of physical violence discipline that mothers give to their daughters is on average lower than that of boys.
Parental neglect discipline / verbal abuse that mothers give to boys has a higher average than girls.