Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting effects

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting effects

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting effects. 2020 is indeed a special year, almost all parts of the world were shocked by the arrival of a new virus called Covid-19. As of this writing, there are no signs when this virus will end.

With this incident, many new policies and regulations emerged for many people. This new life order also affects us a lot as a small part of the world, namely the family.

The calls for Stay At Home or Work From Home give us more time to pay more attention to our family. No less important here is the issue of education for our children.

Parents in general want the best for their children.

‘It is not enough to love the young; they must know that they are loved ‘- St. John Bosco

Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting
Authoritative parenting vs authoritarian parenting

Most parents will ask, what is the best education for our children? Domo Parents will try to discuss all points of view of education to children in detail. We’ll start with authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting.

Before we talk further about parenting education, we should first get to know the meaning of authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting.

Authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting according to experts

Diana Baumrind divides the types of parenting into three, as follows:

1. Authoritative parenting is a parenting style that shows extra tight supervision of children’s behavior, but they are also responsive, respect, and respect thoughts, feelings, and involve children in decision making.

Authoritative parenting characteristics are democratic. And this is the parenting style that is considered the best for kids.

2. Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style that limits and demands that children follow parental orders. Authoritarian parents set strict boundaries and do not provide great opportunities for children to express their opinions.

Authoritarian parents also tend to be arbitrary and undemocratic in making decisions, impose roles or views on children based on their abilities and power, and do not respect their thoughts and feelings.

3. Permissive parenting can be divided into two forms, namely:

Permissive-indulgent parenting is a parenting style in which parents are very involved in the child’s life but set a few limits or control over them.

Permissive-indulgent parenting is associated with a lack of self-control, as permissive-indulgent parents tend to let their children do whatever they want.

As a result, children never learn to control their behavior and always expect all their wishes to be obeyed.

Permissive-indifferent parenting, which is a parenting style in which parents are not very involved in the child’s life. Children raised by permissive-indifferent parents tend to lack self-confidence, poor self-control, and low self-esteem.

From the explanation above, I will summarize the differences, the effects received by children from Authoritative parenting and Authoritarian parenting.

Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting
Authoritative parenting
Authoritarian parenting
1. Confidence Suspicious
2. High self-esteem Self-esteem decreases
3. Obey the rules Rebel
4. Enthusiastic Emotional

Of the many existing parenting styles, the author is more likely to talk about authoritative parenting styles, because authoritative parenting has a strong positive impact on children’s academics. This is a strong reason (for me) to discuss it earlier than other parenting styles.

Opinions of experts related to authoritative parenting with children’s learning achievement:

– Authoritative parenting is a form of parenting treatment that is highly correlated with children’s learning achievement (Nyarko, 2011).

Knollman and Wild (2007) state that the achievement of student achievement is largely determined by the presence of parental support (I think all agree with this opinion). This support includes the involvement and motivation of parents in helping the learning process.

Hurlock (2009) parents must be able to provide appropriate treatment by children’s development so that children can perceive the care given to them well so that they can motivate their learning.

The effects of authoritative parenting with children’s education are; the more authoritative parenting practices that are accepted by students, the students have high learning achievement.

Likewise, on the other hand, if non-authoritative parenting practices are accepted by students, learning achievement is also low.

Pros and cons between authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting.

Pros of Authoritarian Parenting

As we already know, the character of parents in educating children with authoritarian parenting will provide assertiveness in every command or rule without any resistance. However, this is not always bad if we want to look at it from a different perspective.

There are positive effects of authoritarian parenting

1. Obey the rules

This kind of parenting tends to form a pattern for children to always obey the rules, no matter what. They will lose the limits of an authority figure, they will always feel at peace doing what they are told. Not infrequently this is a matter of pride.

2. On the track

Because it is black and white, so there is a clear boundary between the orders and the sanctions of what they will make. It is highly unlikely that these children with authoritarian parenting will get off track.

3. Goal-oriented

Children raised in authoritarian families will be very goal-focused. Rigid rules are formed by parents for a purpose so that the atmosphere that is formed is productivity and success. They are well aware of the consequences, so there is only a goal of success in carrying them out.

Like two sides of a coin, authoritarian parenting also creates contra. These two sides of the pros and cons will always accompany everything, including the problem of authoritarian parenting.

Cons Authoritarian Parenting

Many studies have revealed that one of the effects of authoritarian parenting is “depression and anxiety”.

Its black and white, firm, and rigid nature will put more burden on the child in carrying it out. Children will lose space to argue, comment, or even ask questions.

1. Suspicious

Because all lines of command are on parental authority, when children encounter a situation that has no guidelines, they will tend to be unsure of what they will do.

2. Decreased self-esteem

Decreased self-esteem is caused by the impact of children losing their natural choices and abilities to develop their potential.

3. Rebels

What triggers a rebellious nature is “boredom,” where every day is stuffed with a list of commands that have clear consequences. And if it is not realized that it lasts a long time in our teaching patterns as parents, then the children will start to oppose us. This is bad to happen, which will have a negative impact and even harm them.

4. Emotional

Emotional tends to the accumulation of the negative effects of authoritarian parenting which I described above. All these impacts are manifested in an expression, namely; Emotional.

Pros of Authoritative Parenting

1. Confidence

Returning to the pattern of education, with good communication, freedom, and space to ask questions, argue, and comment on children to become more confident. Democracy in the family provides a good understanding of the consideration of every decision that is made.

2. High self-esteem

Children with authoritative parenting have the freedom to explore themselves, there is space to express and develop their potential.

3. Obey the rules

Obeying the rules for children accidentally will manifest from an early age. Because the best teachers are parents, and children pay attention to them from an early age. Parents teach their children well by practicing it on themselves first.

4. Enthusiastic

[For me] this is the opposite of the emotional effects of authoritarian parenting. Children do not feel burdened to do, have free space to express themselves. This positive vibration will encourage children to be enthusiastic about everything.

Cons of Authoritative Parenting

Most of the experts, especially from the psychologists state that this Authoritative parenting style is indeed the best. So it is difficult to find gaps in the shortcomings of this upbringing.

It’s natural for children in the growth phase to be rebellious, emotional, apathetic … it’s all-natural. And we as parents sometimes see it from our point of view with all our expectations.

All the best things in our dreams, we try to convey to children. These things that differentiate between authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting. Wise parents will consider the psychological impact/effect on children if they are forced.

To convey it intact to children is not as easy as what I wrote above, everyone needs patience. As parents, we still want the best for our children, so there is no stopping to do what’s best for our children.

References :

1. Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. J. Early Adolesc. 11, 56–95. doi: 10.1177/0272431691111004

2. Baumrind, D. (2005). Patterns of parental authority and adolescent autonomy. New Dir. Child Adolesc. Dev. 2005, 61–69. doi: 10.1002/cd.128

3. Nyarko, K. (2011). Parental school involvement: The case of Ghana. Journal of Emerging Trends in Education Research and Policy Studies, 2(5), 378-381.

4. Quality of parental support and students’ emotions during homework: Moderating effects of students’
motivational orientations.

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