The Effects Of Abusive Parenting On Children In The Family
Abusive parenting effects. Parents have a huge role to play in the family. Parents have a responsibility to educate, nurture, and guide their children until they reach a certain level that makes children ready for a social life.
Parental treatment of children will directly or indirectly affect the attitudes and behaviors of children. Also, the methods used by parents in raising children have a significant influence on the growth and development of children (Hoskins, 2014; Rubin & Burguess, 2012).
In developmental theory, the way parents usually raise and educate their children is called a parenting style. According to Santrock (2012: 214), good parenting in the family makes the children grow well. Parents who care for their children wisely help their children achieve balance in learning and achieve maturity in biological and emotional levels.
Parents who strive to instill positive values in their children, respect their children’s personalities, set fair standards, instill feelings of security and love in children, and always encourage reciprocal communication with children make children believe that they have a responsibility to achieve success (Hoskins, 2014).
The opposite happens to children when parents adopt the wrong and wrong parenting style; make children have weak emotional rules, have difficulty adjusting to the environment, and tend to have psychological problems. Improper parenting also causes neglect in children (Papalia, et al., 2009). The child was ignored because the adult responsible for the child failed to provide it
adequate needs for the various needs of the child. Parenting Patterns and Children’s Behavior Parenting patterns are a description of the attitudes and behaviors of parents and children in interacting and communicating while doing parenting activities.
Each parent has different characteristics in caring for their children, depending on the education, knowledge, culture, and demographic environment in which the parents are located.
Baumrind identifies three patterns of parenting for their children, namely:
- Authoritarian parenting, i.e. parenting that limits and punishes, and creates strict restrictions for the child.
- Competent parenting, that is, parenting that encourages children to be independent but still provides reasonable limitations.
- Parenting, i.e. parents who are highly involved, but do not provide limitations to control the attitudes and behaviors of their children (Hoskins, 2014).
Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin added parenting;
4. Ignoring or not getting involved, which describes parents who only focus on their own needs and ignore the needs of their children (Papalia, et al., 2009).
The differences in parenting styles adopted by parents play a major role in instilling a person’s personality, which also determines the pattern and picture of children’s personality later as they reach adolescence and adulthood (Bioh, et al., 2018; Mensah & Kuranchie, 2013 ).
In this foster care activity, parents will provide attention, rules, discipline, rewards, and punishments, as well as respond to the needs of their children. The attitudes, behaviors, and habits of parents are often seen, evaluated, and imitated by their children, which then consciously or unconsciously will be absorbed and then become a habit for their children (Hoskins, 2014).
Good parenting, fostering a child’s responsible attitude towards parents, including the responsibility to study hard to achieve high learning achievement. For example, authoritative parenting makes children have prosocial intentions, social competence, learning achievement, assertiveness, adaptability, adherence to traffic rules, higher entrepreneurial personality than children who receive authoritarian and permissive parenting ( Bioh, et al., 2018; Mensah & Kuranchie, 2013; Alayi, et al., 2011).
Another example is that children who are cared for with a delegation pattern (parents determine what the child should do, but if they have a problem, the child is allowed to do what he or she wants and decide when, where, and how they do something) higher achievement motivation than with students nurtured with other types of parenting.
This is because democratic parents often give appreciation for their children’s achievements. These parental attitudes will have a psychological impact that they feel valued for their presence and make them more motivated to achieve better (Seifi, 2016, Domino, 2016).
Research shows that authoritative parenting is a good type of parenting because it makes children able to control themselves, feel loved, and become more assertive. Competent parents set realistic expectations and standards and set consistent rules.
Competent parents also positively teach children in the event of a conflict, communicate in a positive atmosphere with children and communicate well (Bioh, et al., 2018; Hoskins, 2014; Mensah & Kuranchie, 2013).
This makes children not anxious in making choices, can make the right decisions in achieving goals so that they are expected to have good performance, can fulfill their commitments and participate actively in tasks and interact with their group (Alayi et al., 2011).
The opposite happens to children when parents adopt an authoritarian parenting style. This parenting pattern makes children less competent. Competent parents prefer to discipline their children by using force, which makes them more depressed, anxious, and unhappy.
Children become attractive, distrustful of others and do not want to get involved in social situations, and tend to be aggressive (Mensah & Kuranchie, 2013; Trenas, et al., 2012; Game-Guadix, 2010).
Also, authoritarian parenting reduces children’s self-confidence because they feel helpless. Furthermore, this causes the child’s self-concept to be negative, and tends to be less enthusiastic in achieving life goals (Seifi, 2016; Papalia, et al., 2009;
However, in some cultural groups, authoritarian parenting styles result in positive development in children. For example, Asian American parents often continue to authorize traditional Asian parenting practices for their children.
Parents strictly regulate and control the lives of children, instilling respect and obedience to parents by using punishment, so that most Asian American children have high academic achievement in school (Van Campen, & Russell, 2010). Hafiz and Almaududi (2016) also found similar things among students in Jakarta; found that authoritarian parenting does not always hurt children.
On the other hand, authoritarian parenting styles have been shown to have a positive effect on children’s emotional maturity. Fostering strict discipline in children is sometimes necessary to form patience in children, which in turn makes children’s emotional maturity develop better.
In decision making, parents tend to impose their will on their children. Some of these findings indicate that parenting style is correlated with cultural contexts such as socioeconomic status and family cultural entities.
We must recognize that the suitability of parenting varies from one culture to another. In other words, every culture has a different pattern of parenting. The method used in this article is qualitative because it tries to describe the parenting style of violence by parents towards children in the family.
This is in line with Creswell (2012) who argues that the purpose of qualitative methods is to explain phenomena in the natural environment. This article explains inductively the phenomenon of parental violence in certain regional cultures practiced by parents as one of the main methods of educating children.
Inductive methods are very suitable for producing theories obtained through the understanding and interpretation of the subjective meaning of a phenomenon; which is negotiated in social, cultural, and historical contexts (Creswell, 2012). The design used to obtain the data is library research and hermeneutics.
Data were collected by reviewing the literature on various sources and written documents, such as books, journals, scientific articles, seminar papers, online news, and research reports. Hermeneeunetics is used in interpreting various literary sources to find an accurate understanding of the available literature. Also, the use of hermeneutics as a study design makes the interpretation of literature more critical and reflective.
Interpretation becomes more relevant to the phenomenon and the reduction process becomes more complete (Larkin, et al., 2011). Thematic content is used in the processing and interpreting research data. Thematic analysis is a method of identifying, analyzing, and reporting patterns found in data (Braun & Clarke, 2006).
The content of various literature is interpreted to find important themes to illustrate the phenomenon of parental violence by parents against children in the family.
Regarding the accuracy of the accuracy and stability of the data, the technique used is source triangulation. This technique will minimize data deviation by comparing, testing, and synthesizing data accurately with various literary sources (Heale & Forbes, 2013).
Parents who tend to spoil their children too much, letting them do things freely without parental control. Parents prioritize personal pleasures and interests, so they seem to neglect their children.
They show indifference, arguing that they are busy working, earning money, and thinking that children can take care of all their own developmental needs without parental help. Quite a different thing is done by competent parents.
They mostly punish their children if they break the rules in the family. Types of punishments imposed by parents to make children obey the rules they make such as hitting, punching, kicking, not even fed, or telling children to sleep outside the house.
Parents assume that all their beliefs, attitudes, and views in raising a child are correct, so they no longer need to be considered by their children. They do not hesitate to use physical punishment and psychological punishment accompanied by threats to make children follow the standards of behavior they set.
The authoritarian parenting style used by parents in disciplining their children is bad for the child. This makes children feel depressed, depressed, unable to solve problems, poor communication skills, withdraws and distrust of others often violates the norms that occur in society and is aggressive.
Thus, authoritarian parenting styles tend to make children experience poor emotional development. Parents generally tend to ignore the consequences of their attitudes and actions towards their children.
Parents do not pay attention to meet the adequate needs for the physical and emotional development of children so that children easily escape from deviant behaviors, such as smoking, fighting, and watching pornographic movies.
In this case and say an authoritarian parenting style makes the child feel unhappy, scared, untrained to take the initiative, like to rebel, like to break the norm, like to withdraw so it is easy to escape by consuming alcohol.
Violence As One Of The Characteristics Of Education A special form of discipline performed by competent parents is the use of punishment, either through physical punishment or by using psychological punishment.
All forms of punishment cause suffering to the child. Any action against a child that results in physical, psychological, sexual, and/or neglectful suffering or suffering, including threats to act, coercion, or deprivation of liberty is violence to that child.
The phenomenon of violence because of using punishment as a strategy for the education of children is usually used by parents. The forms of violence perpetrated by parents in educating children are divided into physical violence, psychological violence, verbal violence, neglect, and allowing children to behave defiantly.
Case studies show that only 5.45% of children do not experience physical violence from their parents. In other words, many families (94.55%) physically abuse their children, such as hitting, slapping, and kicking their children. Parents generally punish their children by using sticks to hit them and this sometimes results in injuries to children such as bruises and wounds.
Psychic violence is also often perpetrated by parents against children, as many (89.77%) have received insults, ridicule, mockery, and harsh and impolite words from parents and other family members.
This fact also shows that shouting, cursing, mocking, and using harsh words are often uttered by parents when dealing with children. Parents often shout at their children with words “rude and ignorant”, or call them rude words in the form of an oath in the local language.
Children also have similar experiences in the world of formal education in schools. Teachers often use harsh words, taunts, and insults in the learning process, and call their students periodically with negative connotations.
The high phenomenon of parental use of punishment against children shows that violence is a characteristic of children’s education in the family. Parents often justify themselves that the violence they commit is part of the educational process for their children and that violence is the only way to educate, nurture, and make them better.
According to Hoskins (2014), inadequate parental knowledge results in parents not having much choice in disciplining children and choosing shortcuts by giving punishment or violence to children. Socio-Economic Influence on Parenting Patterns The parenting style used by parents in raising children is often influenced by the social and economic status of the family in society.
Busy parents often apply permitted parenting to their children because they do not have much time to communicate and discuss with the children (Bioh, 2018; Hoskins, 2014). For example, rich parents tend to spoil their children, meet all the demands of their children out of control and instill discipline because they prioritize work over family.
On the other hand, parents with low socioeconomic status often adopt parenting that causes neglect because they are more focused on meeting the needs of the family. They do not pay attention and love to their children because they spend more time working, earning a living to meet the physical needs, eating, and drinking of their children.
Rural farmers and parents with low socioeconomic status are also often filled with frustration. The cause of this frustration is the pressure to meet the needs of the family. Economic hardship makes parents quickly depressed, easily upset, and angry and the longer their behavior becomes more aggressive (Van Lange, et al., 2017).
Children become a place for their parents to feel depressed and frustrated so that they intentionally or unintentionally cause violent behavior in children. Social status in society caused by the level of education of parents also influences the way parents to care for their children (September, et al., 2015).
Parents with a higher education background have so much knowledge that they have many alternatives in educating their children. Parents with a master’s educational background can find references from various sources to raise their children.
They can develop good and harmonious patterns of relationships to support the growth and development of their children. On the other hand, parents with a low educational background tend to have conservative thinking. They impose their will on the child and do not give the child the freedom to choose certain alternatives from various things in family life (Kiadarbandsari, 2016).
The majority of parents have a low educational background and do not have a good knowledge and understanding of their child’s development. They do not have many alternative methods to educate children to give children the maximum freedom to behave and behave.
On some occasions, they neglect instilling values and morals in children, so that children can grow up without parental control and supervision. Lack of parental control causes the child to easily fall into deviant behavior, commit immoral acts, and be easily involved in crime (Thompson, et al., 2014; Hoskins, 2014; Mensah & Kuranchie, 2013).
Parents who are depressed or ashamed of their child’s behavior, take shortcuts by giving punishment or violence to the child.